As much as you might enjoy your job as a virtual assistant, there may be times when your client isn’t exactly someone you click with. It might be because they’re prone to micromanaging every aspect of your work, or that they tend to write off any ideas that they didn’t think up.

Or you may just have a bad first impression of them and can’t get over it.

Because you’re having a hard time changing or escaping the dynamic that has been established, you can end up feeling discouraged, stressed or unproductive. You might even think the only to fix the problem is by ending the contract, even if you like the other areas of the job.

Don’t make a resignation letter or send in a notice yet! You can survive and thrive, even when the relationship between you and your employer isn’t ideal. Here are some steps you can take so you won’t have to dread coming in to work; with them, you may even potentially improve your chemistry.

Examine the situation

Think about the external pressures that your client may be under. Understand that people aren’t inherently bad but they have weaknesses that can be triggered by the need to deliver results. So, take a look at why they’re acting the way they are and practice empathy.

They might be having a bad week, have too much on their plate, or are experiencing personal issues they can’t help but bring to work. These can be resolved with enough communication and time. It’s a different matter when they’re manipulative or verbally abusive for no particular reason.

(Related: The 8 Most Important Qualities to Spot in a Good Client)

Consider your involvement

You might not want to hear this but you have to acknowledge that you may play a role in why you two aren’t clicking. By figuring it out, you can adjust accordingly and fix the professional relationship. Ask yourself what’s causing the situation to be this tense.

Perhaps you see them as a transferential figure. For instance, they may remind you of the teacher who intimidated you. They may physically resemble the person and make the same gestures, yet you must realize that they’re a separate individual.

Identify any triggers

If they aren’t always aloof or critical, it may mean that certain things are causing them to react as they do. For instance, they may hate it when someone logs in five minutes late without prior notice or when their virtual assistants leave tasks to the last minute.

Be sure not to do anything that might trigger them. Following the example, you can improve your time management skills. This benefits you in the long run too, because you’ll learn to always finish your work before the deadline and avoid working overtime to complete tasks.

Seek advice from colleagues

Talking to a fellow remote worker under the same employer can give you some insight into improving the dynamic. It’s even better if the person you talk to is someone who’s been under the management of the client for a longer span of time as they know them better.

Ask them if they’re also experiencing concerns similar to yours. If yes, find out how they’ve managed to stay with the employer for so long. Some of them will be able to tell you exactly how you must act during certain occurrences. Soon, you’ll find communicating with the client easier than before.

Remind yourself why you love your job

Write down the things that you like about the current virtual assistant role. It might be the morning working schedule, the good pay or the freebies that get sent to your doorstep. It’s easy to do this if you really like where you’re at.

Once you’ve listed everything down, you can be thankful for them and consider if they’re really worth saying goodbye to when your only problem is the employer. Unless they’re affecting your mental health, it’s entirely fine to stay just for the advantages you’ve listed down.

Focus on your own work

When you’re determined to stay but nothing is working to influence your dynamic, simply log in, do your job, and log out; that’s it. Do what your client asks and finish tasks before deadlines. Keep your distance at a personal level and stay professional.

This is easy to say but can be hard to do. However, it can be effective in distracting you from the unstable relationship you have with your employer. Anyway, performing well can help boost your relationship as they’ll see how you’re actually helping them deliver results.

Talk it out with them

In some cases, it’s advisable to discuss your feelings with your employer directly, especially if you feel the criticism they’re giving isn’t constructive. Give honest and direct feedback about their management style while avoiding saying anything inflammatory.

If possible, do this over a video conference call rather than through chat or voice call. Explain that what you want is to build a good working relationship with them. Sometimes, they aren’t even aware of the tension and might thank you for bringing it up.

What If These Don’t Work?

When none of the above is helping improve your dynamic, it might be time to look for a new position as a virtual assistant. Send in a formal notice of your resignation and wait for their response as you may need to perform a debriefing, among other things.

When you work with Remote Workmate, we may be able to help you find a new role right away (provided that it’s clearly your client’s fault). We have various openings where you may be a good fit.